Mashed Thinking #1234

If you want to test a woman’s character, offer her sardines when she gets in the car on your first date.                                                                    …

Mashed Thinking #1233

The amount of flatulence created by a man is a function of his gastronomic curiosity.                                                                                …

Mashed Thinking #1232

A cautious man is one who is anal retentive in his participation in sports.                                                                                  …

Mashed Thinking #1231

A good driver is one who obeys traffic laws and waves using all of his or her fingers.                                                                          …

Mashed Thinking #1230

Flattery is always a work in progress.                                                                                                …

Mashed Thinking #1229

Zeal without knowledge is normal in politics.                                                                                                …

Mashed Thinking #1228

To be extremely popular, one must know how to treat foreigners.                                                                                        …

Mashed Thinking #1227

People can become very scary when they come to the end of their options.                                                                                  …

Mashed Thinking #1226

It requires experience to know how to court tragedy.                                                                                            …

Mashed Thinking #1225

It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s whether or not it goes viral on social media.                                                                            …

Mashed Thinking #1224

It’s difficult to sell most people on the benefits of taser therapy.                                                                                      …

Mashed Thinking #1223

Some people get all their mental exercise from spinning gadgetry.                                                                                          …