I dedicate this book to those who wish they had said some of these things and those who sleep better knowing they did not.

With all the questionable advice we are bombarded with every waking moment of our
lives, someone had to step up to the plate and start making nonsense of it all. And that someone is me.

For years, I’ve written down on scraps of paper and in notebooks gems of wisdom, clichés, and advice I have heard or have been given. A few years ago, I started putting all these into one notebook.

From that notebook came the seed of the idea for this book.

If any of you out there have actually said any of these things, I promise not to publicly give you credit for your lack of taste and prudence.

Prepare to be haunted by some of the most irrelevant things that have never been said – until now.

I have suffered from others’ wisdom, and now it’s time for them to suffer from mine.

Let the lack of wisdom begin.

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book

Mashed Thinking #455

The task of the educated mind is simply put:  think faster than you act.                                                                                  …

Mashed Thinking #735

Bad hair and body odor are a source of trite lyrics for country western songs.                                                                                …

About the Author

Earl Humphrey is a professional disruptor and darn proud of it.  Like everyone, throughout his personal and professional life, Earl was constantly the recipient of conventional advice and wisdom from the ever-present “They” (as in “you know what They say…”), whether he asked for it or not.  He patiently took in all this wisdom until he had had enough and decided to strike back and give “They” some wisdom of his own.  “They” should be very worried.

EHEarl takes great pride in inflicting the world with the type of twisted wisdom that people cannot get out of their heads and makes them laugh at inappropriate times.

While living in Los Angeles, Earl was the Executive Producer and CMO of the award-winning Blue Beetle children’s educational videos.  He has studied, written and performed improv/sketch comedy with groups at the Comedy Workshop in Houston and ImprovBoston in Boston.

He now lives with his wife Mary on a small farm near Delavan, Wisconsin.  He is frequently seen on his antique Ford 9N tractor plowing fields for no apparent reason.